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Discworld Books Meet Terry News Msg Boards Linx

Some characters show up all the time in the novels of Discworld; others you may be hard-pressed at times to find. Any way you slice it, Discworld would be much more akin to a drab, uninteresting sitting room without this cast of heroes, villains, and assorted none-of-the-aboves.

So without any further ado, here's a taste of some of Discworld's finest whom you may run into from time to time. . . .

DEATH . . . An obvious sort of fellow: tall, thin (skeletal, as a matter of fact), and ALWAYS SPEAKS IN CAPITAL LETTERS. Generally shows up when you're dead, or just when he thinks you ought to be. Not a bad chap when you get to know him (and sooner or later, everyone gets to know him).

CARROT IRONFOUNDERSOON . . . Captain of Ankh-Morpork's City Watch police force. Bulging with muscles, this six-foot-six-inch dwarf (he was adopted) remains honest, good-natured, and honorable despite the city's best efforts. Carrot may also be the true heir to Ankh-Morpork's throne (a subject filed under "I wouldn't ask if I were you").

COMMANDER SAMUEL VIMES . . . Head of Ankh-Morpork's City Watch, despite his best efforts to the contrary. A slightly tarnished walker along mean streets, and like all good cops knows exactly when it's time to be a bad cop.

CORPORAL C.W. ST. J. NOBBS . . . Call him "Nobby"—everyone else does. Looking sufficiently like a monkey to have to bear a written testimonial as to his actual species, this City Watch member has a known affinity for thievery—namely, anything that isn't nailed down is his (and anything that can be pried loose is not considered nailed down). But honest about the big things (i.e., the ones too heavy to lift).

ANGUA . . . Now a sergeant in Ankh-Morpork's City Watch (which has a very good affirmative-action policy; they'll take anyone except vampires). She is a werewolf at full moon, a vegetarian for the rest of the month. Her ability to smell colors and rip out a man's throat if she so chooses serve as useful job skills, and have done wonders for her arrest record if not for her social life. A definite K-9 cop.

ESMERELDA "GRANNY" WEATHERWAX . . . The greatest witch on all of Discworld, at least in her opinion. Lives in the village of Bad Ass in the kingdom of Lancre (the village was named after a legendarily disobedient donkey, since you ask). A bad witch by inclination but a good witch by instinct, Granny prefers to achieve by psychology, trickery, and guile what others prefer to achieve by simple spells. She's someone to have on your side, because believe us, it's better than the alternative. Owner of a rather temperamental broom now made up entirely of spare parts. Any questions?

GYTHA "NANNY" OGG . . . The broad-minded, understanding, and grandmotherly matriarch of a somewhat extensive family, with fifteen children and countless grandchildren. She's had many husbands (and was married to three of them). Very knowledgeable on matters of the heart and associated organs. Likes a drink. Likes another drink. Likes a third drink. Make that a double, will you? She is the second member of the coven, which has included:

MAGRAT GARLICK . . . Once a witch, now the Queen of the kingdom of Lancre, this young witch doesn't adhere to the "old school" of witchcraft. She believes in crystals and candles and being nice to people—but she is a witch, so in a tight corner will fight like a cat...

and AGNES NITT . . . and while you're at it, why not meet Perdita as well? A witch with a split personality, the rather overweight Agnes Nitt walks the Discworld while Perdita (the "thin" person said to be within every fat one) whiles away her time daydreaming and offering unwanted advice and criticism. Gifted with an incredibly beautiful singing voice capable of any pitch or sound (comes in handy for belting out an aria in perfect harmony with herself).

MUSTRUM RIDCULLY . . . The Archchancellor of Unseen University. The longest-standing head of the University, Ridcully is notorious for his ironclad decision-making, the incredible lapse of time it takes to explain something to him, and his all-purpose wizarding hat (suitable for emergency shelter and the storage of alcohol). Is now ever more terrifying since he read a book on how to be a dynamic manager in one minute.

RINCEWIND . . . Simply put, the most inept wizard to ever exist in any universe. Rincewind possesses a survival instinct that far outweighs his spellcasting, and is such a coward that (if Einstein is right) he's coming back from the other direction as a hero. Guaranteed to solve every minor problem by turning it into a major disaster.

THE LIBRARIAN. . . It's the primary function of the Librarian of Unseen University to keep people from using the books, lest they wear out from all that reading. It also happens to be a primate function, given the fact that he's also a 300-lb. orangutan (transformed by a magic spell, but he prefers it so much he refuses to be re-transformed). Don't ever call him a monkey. Ever.

LORD HAVELOCK VETINARI . . . The supreme ruler of Ankh-Morpork. A keen believer in the principle of One Man, One Vote; he is the Man, so he's got the vote. Always in complete control of every situation he finds himself in, Lord Vetinari's sense of leadership and stability keep the city up and running...and you'd better believe that this is at the forefront of his mind at all times.

CUT-ME-OWN-THROAT DIBBLER . . . Not really a criminal, more of an entrepreneur who fits the needs of the times. Usually seen selling some kind of food in a bun (no matter how questionable its origins), C.M.O.T. Dibbler is always on the lookout for Discworld's latest business opportunity (again, no matter how questionable its origins). Not a man who asks questions, in fact, and he would prefer if you would also keep off ones like "what's in this sausage?"

COHEN THE BARBARIAN . . . The greatest hero in the history of Discworld. He's an old man now, but hasn't let that stop him. Don't laugh at him. In one of the most dangerous professions in the world, he has survived to be very, very old. Get the point?

THE LUGGAGE . . . Know it. Love it. Fear it. Constructed of magical sapient pearwood, the Luggage is a suitcase with lots of little legs, completely faithful to its owner, and completely homicidal to anyone it perceives as a threat to said owner. Baggage with a nasty overbite. Definitely not your standard carry-on.

THE GREAT A'TUIN . . . The gigantic space turtle upon which the entire Discworld rests (with four elephants sandwiched in between, of course). What is it really? How did it get there? Where is it going? (Actually, it is the only creature in the universe that knows exactly where it is going.)